Sarah Palin is Not Black

Daily KOS Research 2000 recently published the results of a national poll of 2000 “self-identified Republican voters”. Forty-two percent of the respondents resided in the “South”, wherever that is, and 11 percent call the “Northeast” home. Daily KOS probably has no relationship to the Daily Show and the KOS webpage says they are an “online political community”, but most of their contributors are identified as “progressive”, which means either that they are more likely to favor Democrats or that whatever is wrong with them is getting worse. I am certainly progressive in both respects and hold no grudge against Daily KOS, but in fairness you have to consider the source of any information you use to bash Republicans.

Thirty-nine percent of the poll respondents indicated that they thought President Obama should be impeached. Twenty-nine percent were not sure and the remainder said “not yet” or something similar. This means that 68 percent of the respondents believe President Obama is black, I guess. Why 68 percent of the Republicans polled would suggest the President may be guilty of “high crimes or misdemeanors” is not immediately obvious, but one theory is that president Obama has failed to properly distance himself from the policies of his predecessor in office. The whole idea that impeachment should be used as a political strategy seems to be contrary to the concept of divided government and checks and balances and the 39 nine percent of Republicans favoring impeachment may not even know what the word means, but I think it says a lot about how our Republican friends view the use of political power.

Thirty-two percent of respondents indicate that they do not believe that the President was born in the United States and 22 percent are “not sure”. I would attribute this primarily to respondents failing fourth-grade geography, or perhaps the fact that the President is black. To date, there has been absolutely no evidence of any kind to indicate that Barrack Obama was born anywhere other than Hawaii and all attempts to document the falsehood have been revealed as erroneous or fraudulent. Of course, the President is very articulate and generally quite reasonable, so it is not hard to understand how someone might feel he wasn’t from around here.

The poll found that 31 percent of Republicans believe President Obama is “a racist who hates white people”, while 33 percent were “not sure” about this statement. Perhaps he just hates Republicans and said Republicans have confused themselves with all white people since all Republicans are white people. On the other hand, the President does not appear to be mustering hate for much of anything these days and he acts more like Professor Peabody than Sister Souljah. Being a white person, I am relatively certain that the President doesn’t hate me and he was probably fond of his mother, and grandmother, and his various other genetic relations who happen to meet the definition of white. Of course, logic means little to ignorant and angry people.

Sixty-three percent of respondents believe President Obama is a “socialist”. That’s probably why the President is so reluctant to throw money at Wall Street or why he has done so much to make banks accountable or why he has chosen the little guy over the corporations in healthcare reform efforts. Socialist? Really? If Barrack Obama is a socialist, I’m a female, Lithuanian midget with orange hair and seven toes on my right foot. Of course, the President is black…

Twenty-four percent of persons responding to the poll said the President “wants the terrorist to win”. I’m not sure what the terrorist want, so I don’t know what winning would look like to a terrorist, but if winning means religious authorities taking control of the government and forcing the people of a nation to adhere to the moral standards that those authorities impose, then President Obama probably doesn’t want the terrorists to win, but Pat Robertson and John Ensign probably do. If the terrorists winning means American soldiers coming home from foreign shitholes and America’s blood and money no longer being wasted killing Arabs and other assorted brown-skinned persons who have done little other than share a religion with a bunch of homicidal douche-bags, then I want the terrorists to win. Did I mention the President is black?

The poll goes on to reveal other important and informative facts about Republican attitudes, including that 23 percent of those polled felt their state should “secede from the union” and 76 percent believe or are not sure if “ACORN stole the 2008 Presidential election”. The Force is strong in that ACORN, they will bear watching. I started this self-indulgent rant of a blog 82 posts ago saying the collective IQ of the country would go up if Texas left, so if South Carolina and Mississippi want to go with them, all the better. If you don’t accept the principles of free thought and speech and the rule of law is less important to you than the rule of your own deranged opinion, then you probably do need to go found your own racist, voodoo theocracy where honest, hard-working people can be abused by lunatics and objective truth doesn’t matter; or just move to my home state, Georgia, way down south in Dixie.

Naturally, I saved the most instructive bit of wisdom for last. The poll indicates that 53 percent of respondents believe Sarah Palin is more qualified to be President than the President. I have often commented on my puzzlement over the political viability of the former Governor of Alaska, pointing out her intellectual mediocrity, her self-promoting hypocrisy, her factual ignorance and her shape-shifting, politically adaptive principles. None of this seems to matter to large numbers of Republicans who would apparently rather see America led by the Moose Lady of Wasilla than the hated crypto-Muslim, foreign born, racist, socialist, terrorist loving Obama. And, oh, Sarah Palin’s not black.